I’ve had some downright awful experiences with coaches over the years, which have imprinted me with knowing how NOT to show up as coach and mentor.
One woman in particular helped me learn the hard way about integrity and abuse of power. I had invested in this very ‘high end’ coach for all the good reasons and expectations. Let me list some ways it cracked me instead of helped me, which also illustrates why I can promise I’ll never be this way.
This coach’s public style of communication in marketing was calm, sweet, and understanding. BUT once the 12-month contract was signed and substantial ‘investment’ locked in, her private style of coaching was to bully and demean. For example, she proclaimed that I wouldn’t feel like such an assh•le if I just did whatever she told me to do. Note: that was her word, not mine.
During enrollment, I foolishly trusted her to evaluate with honesty if we were a good fit for working together. Turns out she was happy about the money, but was demonstrably angry that I didn’t perform just cuz she said so.
A VIP day was included in my contract and she kept putting it off, until she outright refused to honor this commitment.
After 5 months of her demeaning all my best efforts, finding faults with everything I revealed from my heart and soul, I begged her to release me from this high intensity relationship. I confessed that I couldn’t do what she expected, and asked to be dropped into an instructional group program where I could continue to learn without all the “personal attention.” She soothed me into staying, and I was actually joyous to hear her professed commitment to my growth!
Why did I tolerate this?
Because I did not know at the time that I was actually acting from battered instincts that I’d learned from my family of origin. I’d been conditioned to be desensitized. So I put up with this abuse of authority and kept going.
After 10 months of nothing changed, I was finally confident in feeling done. During our scheduled call, I flat out told her “I can’t do this anymore.” And that’s when she revealed what she Really thought about me. She was so angry at my leaving (even though she clearly hated everything about me) that I was no longer welcome at any of her calls or events. AND I would still be billed for the remainder of my contract. I felt so relieved to be done with her that I didn’t argue.
So because I know intimately how it feels to be on the receiving end of such poor treatment, I can promise that how I show up in writing and conversation is how I show up all the time.
My goal is to help clients find suitable solutions in their lives, feeling Peaceful and Confident no matter what is happening around them.
I choose to Assist by being the Kindness that you’d expect from someone who offers to help.
You don’t need to go through your troubles alone! And you certainly don’t need to be bullied in order to reach your transformation.
As someone who has experienced all levels of transformation, I am here to hold space and support you through your own challenging, but important journey of empowerment. You’ll feel safe as I hold a light of guidance for your inner explorations. And I’ll invite a variety of Breakthrough realizations on your path of deciding What’s True For You Now – all while co-creating deep, meaningful, and lasting Transformation.
If you would like someone to walk alongside as you dig deep into your uncharted territory, while progressing towards real and lasting personal transformation, then set up a free consultation today! I’d love to discover more about your current path and discuss how we can work together to guide you into a place of peace and growth.
Schedule your free call today, or book your 3-month program with me and we can get started right away.